September 11, 2001

Growing up, history was always my least favorite subject. I was inconsiderate and figured that if something had already happened, I wasn't going to impact it in any way and there was no reason for me to learn about it. Of course, I later realized the importance of history and its construction of the country I live in today, but not without a fight.

We all have a moment in history that will forever be etched in our minds. My great-grandparents had WWI and WWII, my grandparents had the Kennedy assassination and Neil Armstrong walking on the moon, my parents had....hmmm Nixon? Carter? Ya know, I'll have to get back to ya on what their true, defining moment in history was. For myself and all of the above mentioned people combined, September 11, 2001, will forever be a day of remembrance. Aside from the 4th and 24th of July, it's the only day in history that is known by it's actual date of occurrence, and we all have a story of exactly where we were when we heard the news.

I was merely 12 years old and had just started 7th grade at Bonneville Junior High (aka the worst school year of my life, haha.) I remember waking up that Tuesday morning to get ready for school and walking out to the kitchen just before 7 AM, Mountain Time. My mom was watching TV and told me about a plane hitting a building in New York City. At first, I thought absolutely nothing of it. I went in the living room, turned on the TV, and didn't understand why the news of this crash was all over every channel. I'll admit, I was being insensitive and should have been more considerate, we all simply didn't realize the severity of the situation yet.

My dad then took me to the bus stop up the street and I was off to school. When I arrived, of course, everyone was talking about the crash. I headed to my 1st period class, keyboarding (where I learned to type 100+ WPM, haha) and we immediately started watching Channel One, the news program that played each morning before the school announcements. When we learned the news that the second tower had been hit, I remember several people crying, specifically one girl, Bergandee, sitting next to me. I don't know if it was because I was so young or so naive, but I still did not understand why people were crying and making a huge fuss about it. We had a moment of silence, lead by President Bush after he made the comment "the United States will hunt down and punish those responsible for these cowardly acts." How true that statement later turned out to be when Osama Bin Laden was killed in 2011. 

It is difficult to grasp the concept that this horrible event occurred 10 years ago, yet the images of the World Trade Center remain so vivid that it honestly feels like it were only yesterday. Thanks to the internet and YouTube, this day and all of the events that took place at the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and in Pennsylvania will forever be documented and just a click away.

Even after watching various documentaries this week during the 10th anniversary, and even spending hours on a website, http://www.archive.org/details/911, which, archived all of the news videos/stories from all over the world and websites relating to that day, I still find it hard to believe that the world is filled with such terrible people and how God could let something like this happen. Of course, there were also countless conspiracy websites that are rather convincing in telling readers that the United States government was behind 9/11, but then again, you almost can't believe anything on the internet these days.

I feel almost nostalgic (certainly not in the sense that I want to go back to that day) with how much I have been looking back and watching all the videos from 9/11. I watched a documentary, 102 Minutes That Changed America, and could not take my eyes off of it. It was absolutely terrifying, but incredibly fascinating to hear the stories of the survivors surrounding the WTC that day. I also watched a documentary, The Man Who Predicted 9/11, about Rick Rescorla, a true hero.

Along with these documentaries, I've been glued to YouTube and the archive website above watching videos. I have listened to several last calls made by victims on Flight 93, Flight 11, and even calls from people stuck at the top of the buildings. One specific call made from Kevin Cosgrove was one I wish I had never heard. Hearing the voice of a victim and hearing his him say "Oh God" right before the call hung-up and the tower collasped was by far the most horrific and chilling thing I've heard in my life. Hearing the "Heaven" song with the voice of a little girl saying "I miss you, Daddy" following 9/11, 5 years later and again 10 years later, was also heartbreaking. There were also plenty of videos showing people jumping out of the windows of the WTC, something that the news stations in the US shied away from, for obvious reasons. Truly and utterly disturbing. I cannot imagine being in such a place where my life is in so much danger that I have no choice but to jump 90+ stories to my death. I can't imagine being a loved one of a victim and learning of his/her fate. I wouldn't believe it. I

While I was once insensitive when I just heard the news that Tuesday morning, I feel that 10 years later, my remorse and sympathy is overwhelming. I can't get these images out of my head. I can't believe it's been so long and we are still at war, killing more and more US soldiers to fight for our freedom that I'm so grateful to have. When is enough, enough? When will the war end and the families of 9/11 victims feel somewhat at peace?

September 11th is such a crucial, memorable day in history, yet plenty of young children today know nothing of it. My niece, Tessa, was born 5 years following 9/11 and has no idea what happened that day. When I tried to tell her the (censored) story of 9/11, she plugged her ears and didn't want to learn about it. (She is like her momma and hates school already, but hasn't even started yet.) She will one day be forced to learn about it in history class and will probably be just as bored as I was when I learned about WWI, WWII, Vietnam, etc, events that were so memorable to my great-grandparents. I can only imagine what horrible things will happen in the future that Tessa will never forget. I certainly hope and pray for world peace, but I cannot be so optimistic when history has such a horrific track record....

Moving to Our First Apartment

Let me start off by saying that finding an apartment definitely wasn't an easy task. We were looking into some apartments in Midvale, Florentine Villas, but they were incredibly difficult to work with. We left on our honeymoon thinking everything would be squared away by the time we got back, but of course...it wasn't. When we got home on Sunday, we didn't have anywhere to live. It sucked. We were expecting to move that day, but it didn't happen. Apparently we "made too much money" for those apartments, which is obviously completely bogus. Such a pain in the butt. I was really super excited about moving there, too, which sucks. It was so conveniently located, even though I later learned the heart of Midvale is ghetto (who knew?)

Our difficulty w/ the a-holes at Florentine Villas later lead us to looking for some apartments in West Jordan on Monday, July 18th. We looked at a few but eventually just decided on one so that we could move in that day. We signed the papers, my nice mom rented a U-Haul, we started packin' up my crap and around 9:30 PM, it was packed up and we headed out to BFE (aka the very West of West Jordan) to move into our new place. I am so thankful that Levi's buddies, Mikey and Charlie, were there to help us, even though they had to work the next day and it was pretty late. Who moves at 10 at night? Oh that's right, us. :) I am also so glad that I had my mom and Candice there to help us move. They were such a big help putting everything together and helping me organize. My mom was SO helpful in making our apartment  feel more like a home...she filled it with everything from cleaning supplies to spices and literally everything in between that I never would've thought of!

Minus the far drive, I absolutely love our apartments. They are beautiful and you wouldn't think it's our first place with all the amazing stuff we're blessed to have. I hear all these stories from parents/grandparents about their first places being absolutely horrible and having old furniture, and it makes me so grateful to have the nice stuff I do have.

It is definitely difficult moving out after living in the same house for my entire 22 and a half years on this Earth. The first few weeks, I was so homesick. Scratch that, I still am. I'm not an emotional person at all, but I cried like a baby a few nights because I missed home, my parents and my dogs so much. Heck, I'm even getting teary eyed right now as I think about it. Such a baby. Nothing will ever replace home. I'll probably continue to go back there a million times each week, at least until my mom changes the locks on me, haha.

Apartment living is a BIG change for me. While I had to deal with my mom's snoring at home, I at least could tell her to shush up when I couldn't sleep, haha. However, in an apartment, I can pick my neighbors, unfortunately. And of course, with my luck, we ended up moving in next to some Hispanic people with a newborn baby. No, I'm not racist...the reason I bring up their race is being Hispanics are freakin LOUD when they talk. I can be in our bedroom bathroom and still hear their entire conversations when they're yelling at each other.

And the newborn baby...don't get me started. I feel like Levi and I have a baby already. Seriously. I have to wake up several times throughout the night (thankfully, I don't have to get up and feed it, haha) when the baby starts screaming and crying, and I can't take a nap in the afternoon/evening for the life of me because the annoying baby will start up again. My heck. This baby doesn't have a normal cry, might I add. It has the most obnoxious cry in the world. Literally the most annoying sound I have heard in my entire life. It almost sounds like it can't breathe. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE kids and I think babies are adorable... I've just never had to deal with them crying throughout the night. It's hard..and it's not even my kid. I can only imagine how difficult it'll be when I actually do have a kid and I have to wake up and feed it/change it's diaper/etc.

Let's just say, this annoying baby is the best birth control money can buy. All $953 a month is so worth the birth control.. (Okay, not really.) But seriously, it's effective. Since we have moved in, I never want to have sex again in fear that I will get pregnant. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. I am not ready for a baby. I would love a 1+ year old to play with and have a blast with, but I'm not ready for a newborn baby. I'm not ready to grow up and lose sleep every night. I want to enjoy the time we have together as newlyweds. I want to lose sleep over our petty little fights, not over a crying baby. Wait, I still lose sleep over a crying baby AND the petty fights...how does that work?

Anyway, long story short, it's a HUGE adjustment for me and definitely a new, completely different chapter in my life that is still taking time to get use to. We still have 12 months in our apartment and sometimes I feel like I'm going to shoot myself before next September gets here, but at the same time, I'm learning to cope with it and I'm learning to like being on my own. It's been fun making dinner together, cleaning the dishes, folding laundry together, making the bed, watching movies together, etc. It's not easy and I'll be honest, I don't absolutely love every minute of it (i.e. when he doesn't flush the toilet, haha) but I know it's worth it. It's so nice knowing that I have my best friend to wake up to and fall asleep next to every night. Knowing that I will always have 1 person standing by my side through thick and thin, to comfort me and love me unconditionally....that makes every single fight worth it. :)

I love you, Levi! <3

Honeymoon in Mexico

Where to start? (Warning, this will be long. I just want to remember all the little details!) Our honeymoon was INCREDIBLE! :) It was so so hard to come home after being gone in paradise for a week, that's for sure. On Sunday, July 10th, we flew out to Long Beach, CA (a scary/rough flight for me...I acted like I had never flown before and practically broke Levi's hand off from squeezing so hard @ take off) where we went to the Carnival cruise port to leave to Cabo San Lucas and Puerto Vallarta, Mexico on a 7 day cruise. Let me just say, cruises are awesome! It was my first one and I am so glad that we chose to do that for our honeymoon. It was so nice not having to plan anything (other than our excursions aka activities @ the ports) and having all the food we could eat! It wasn't nice, however, coming back 12 pounds heaver haha! (Weight which I still have yet to lose, yuck yuck!) People definitely aren't kiddin when they tell you there is an abundance of food on a cruises. It's never ending! In fact, I don't know how they DON'T run out of food with that many people on board!

The first few days were rough for me. Levi had previously been on a short cruise, so it was easier for him, but I definitely got a little sea sick. Not to mention the tiny room made me feel claustrophobic, haha. After awhile, though, I got use to it and it was so much fun. There is a TON to do on the ship. It's like a city in and of itself! There was a casino, plenty of pools, several restaurants and bars, dance shows, a comedy club, dance clubs, stores, etc etc. It was awesome! My favorite activity on the ship was the comedy club...my least favorite was the casino because I lost money haha. Literally EVERY time I would walk away from roulette, my numbers would hit. 7 (my fave number to bet on) hit a million times...alllll when I wasn't sitting there betting. Suck.

The weather wasn't too great on the ship so I didn't get to lay out as much as I would have liked (it was pretty windy/rainy some days,) but going to the ports made up for the sucky weather. Cabo was so hot and absolutely beautiful! The first day there, we went on a boat/land/beach tour. We took a boat ride over to Land's End which was awesome to see. The Lover's Beach looked pretty neat, seeing the waves from 2 oceans (or bodies of water, I guess) crash into each other.Pretty dangerous. The sand was gorgeous and so was the blue water. Amazing! Then, we went to a beach club across the way...where we got to layout, each lunch and have a couple drinks. There was the coolest bar there that had some swings for chairs. So neat! No worries, we didn't drink much the entire trip. I think the alcohol must be diluted in Mexico. Let me just note, the vendors that walk around at the beach are SO annoying and obnoxious. I got so sick of saying "No thanks" or "No gracias" every time they tried to get us to buy something. Sheeesh. And I couldn't even hussle 'em down like everyone says ya can. Following that, we went into the city some more and went to a mall. It wasn't anything special, pretty much just like any mall in the US and the prices seemed to be more expensive. Pshhh. At the mall, we did go into some tequila store and tried some different flavors. It surprisingly wasn't bad.

The next day in Cabo (they cancelled the Mazatlan port due to some dangerous activity there) we just hungout, walked around the beach and later took a boat ride over to a beach bar called Mango Deck. Let's just say, that place could definitely get crazy if ya were drinkin. Man. We did have a few 2-for-1 drinks...one we had was a Mango drink and was probably the most heavenly thing I had ever tasted. Sadly, after buying souvenirs from the vendors and buying a few drinks, we ran out of the cash we had brought with us off the boat so I couldn't have more Mango drinks..but that's probably a good thing.

The days on the ship kind of blur together...when it  was only Tuesday, I started to get anxiety and wondered if I'd make it out alive being on a ship so long...but then by the time Sunday came around, I was so sad and didn't want to get off of it. We had fun eating, laughing, arguing, and mostly just having fun....with a big emphasis on the 'eating' part. I think we ate enough pizza, ice cream cones, and cheese burgers to feed a third world country. Not to mention the 'chocolate extravaganza' that made me want to puke. At least we got our money's worth just in food alone! :) We met some neat people, my favorites being the ones from Australia with awesome accents. I love 'em! Not to mention the thousands of workers on the ship that are from all over the world.

My favorite part of the trip was definitely Puerto Vallarta. This was, without doubt, paradise to me! GORGEOUS! We took an hour boat ride (that was pretty bumpy, might I add, making several people around us puke..ewww) to the "Las Caletas Beach hideaway." It was amazing. Out in the middle of nowhere...surrounded by amazing green hills (normally I hate green things like that haha, I'm weird...but it was beautiful) and amaaaazing palm trees (my favorite.) The best part of this was being able to lay in a hammock between 2 palm trees in my Kenny Chesney t-shirt (we went to his concert with Brandi and Blake -- w/ tickets we both won -- the night before we left on the cruise.....set up a Mexico vacation just perfectly. Love me some Kenny!)

Talk about HEAVEN. I literally could have stayed in that moment forever..or at least until my savings account ran dry and I couldn't afford to live there anymore lol. This day was one of the greatest days of my life, in 2nd to the day Levi and I spent at the park the first time we hungout and of course, our wedding. We got to eat an authentic Mexican lunch, drink some more diluted Mexican alcohol haha, hold a monkey and kiss a parrot, go snorkeling and kayaking. It was awesome and such a lovely day. It was rainy season there, but luckily we had perfect weather all day, until we got back to the port and it started to rain. At that point, we got back on the ship and still had a couple hours to kill, so we walked around the 'swamp meet' type thing where all the vendors were in one place. This time I couldn't complain much about them since it was their turf, haha.

Following Puerto Vallarta, it was kinda sad knowing we didn't have anywhere else to stop and the weather was pretty crappy...but it was still fun. I had a blast, even the times when we fought and got sick of each other. I would go on a cruise again in a heartbeat!! In fact, in my day dreams I'm already planning the next one, lol. It definitely opened my eyes up to the Mexican culture more and made me appreciate them a little bit. I most certainly didn't mind hearing so much Spanish while I was in Mexico, haha. I just hate hearing it so much in Utah. :) Speaking of which, coming back was nice because our parents, nieces and nephew met us at the airport. For some reason, I got all teary eyed seeing Tessa and having her run up to me when we came out, it was just so cute. I love and adore that little girl to the moon and back!

Once again, thank you mom, dad, Rod and Crystal, for such an amazing honeymoon that we will NEVER forget. :)

Wedding Day!

07-07-11! 2 years from the day I met my best friend, I finally got to marry him!! :)

I'm a little late to be posting about this, but I'm finally getting around to blogging. We've now been married for almost a month; it's hard to believe how fast time flies! The 10 months we were engaged seemed to drag on because I couldn't wait to marry my best friend, now I can't believe how it has already come and gone. Not gunna lie, it makes me sad.

Our wedding was beautiful and all the personal touches turned out lovely. I do have my regrets, of course..the main one being that I wish I hadn't been such a bridezilla. I wish I hadn't stressed so much about every little detail, when most people probably didn't even notice them. I wish I would have listened to people when they told me to slow down and take the day in because it goes by fast.

I probably stressed the day of our wedding more than I actually sat down and realized what the day was about. That is the one thing I swore I wouldn't let happen. But after planning every detail for 10 months, it's hard not to care and want it to turn out perfectly. As I learned, however, life doesn't always go as expected and you can't control every little detail. Being the perfectionist/anal/detail-oriented person that I am, though, this is hard for me to realize in the moment. Looking back, though, I feel that it was certainly a learning moment.

Nonetheless, I feel like we still had a great time. It wasn't a super hoppin' party wedding, by all means, but it was exactly what I wanted. I didn't want a million people there, I didn't want to stand in a line all night waiting for people to shake my hand. We were able to just mingle and talk to people, which was nice.I think it turned out very nicely and for the most part, things went as planned. Of course, there are always gunna be problems. I.e. the bridesmaids 'bouquets' that I hated, getting lipstick on my dress, the candles in the aisle not lighting, etc etc. But overall, looking back, it was lovely and just so darn cute.

My favorite part was definitely the cake! It was our favorite: funfetti w/ rainbow chip frosting as the filling. AMAZING! Yum yum. Levi probably didn't find it as amazing when I smeared it across his entire face, haha. I also loved the DARLING flower girl dresses my grandma, Mer Mer, made and the cute bridesmaids outfits Brandi and I picked out (Mer Mer also made their skirts.) I loved my colors...which took me forever to decide on. They were so unique and freakin' cute! I do not regret taking pink out whatsoever. :) I loved my hair, my shoes. I loved the cute hairpieces Brandi made. I LOVED my cake decorations and the flags. Soo adorable. Honestly, I loved everything and I am so happy with all the little details of everything and I am so blessed to have an amazing family that helped me out with everything.

The pictures turned out amazing and I am so happy that I chose to hire a more expensive photographer. He's incredibly talented and I can't wait to use him in the future (10 years from now...) when I decide to have kids, haha. I am not happy, however, to have hired a beast of a decorator. She definitely added a lot of stress on my wedding day by yelling at me and honestly, I could've done most of that myself (I was more pleased with the decorations we did, i.e. the cake, than what she did.) Nonetheless, it was still gorgeous and I was pleased with it, just not her.

Leaving the wedding was wonderful, seeing everyone with sparklers and leaving in a sweet black Denali (I think that's what it was, haha.) Thanks, mom!! Following our wedding day, we were able to spend a couple nights at the Hyatt Suites in Sandy. It was way nice and was fun just relaxing and hanging out. We also got to hangout with some family (Gramps and Granny, Mer Mer, etc) that was in town, which was definitely nice since we didn't get to talk much at the wedding. Not to mention we had plenty of Coldstone ice cream and yummy cake leftover to eat the next day, haha! :)

I could go on and on about the wonderful day we had and how excited I was to finally get to marry Levi, but I'll try to keep it somewhat short. I am so thankful for our parents giving us such a beautiful wedding that I'll never forget. Thank you, thank you! I love you all! :)

** I will eventually add pictures to all these posts when I have more time.

Bridal Pictures

I have so many different things to post about...the wedding, the honeymoon, and of course, moving out and starting our life together. However, it seems I don't have enough time right now to get to all of it, unfortunately, but I will make it a goal to do so as soon as I can so that I can record our memories to look back on them in the future. :) For now, though, I will start with something I wanted to share months ago but couldn't, since Levi hadn't seen my dress: my bridal pictures. There are 100's of pictures, but here are a few that I love:

It was so much fun taking these pictures and I was so grateful to have my sister, Candice, there with me to help! It was nice to feel like a "model" for once, even though I'm definitely far from, haha.

The past 10 months have been amazing (and stressful, as well) and I am incredibly thankful for all of the help, love and support I've been shown from family. I am lucky to have countless, loving people in my life! We have been absolutely spoiled and I couldn't thank everyone enough!

Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Whilst laying in a hammock between 2 palm trees next to the beach in Mexico (post/pictures to come,) I had some time to think all about our wedding. Honestly, I was a bit sad knowing that after 10 months of planning and preparing for our special day, it had already come and gone. I put SO much effort into the smallest details that only a handful of people actually noticed.

Looking back now, I wish someone would've slapped me in the face 7 months ago and would've told me not to worry so much. I wish I wouldn't have spent such a ridiculous amount of our parents' and my own money. I wish I wouldn't have been such a spoiled brat... I wish I didn't let planning the wedding take away from all the excitement. I wish I would've savored the day more and the time spent with our families. (After all, family is all that matters...see below.)

Regarding the actual wedding day, I wish I wouldn't have cared so much that things weren't happening the exact way I wanted them to. Lesson learned from this: I can only control myself, not other people. If I want something done MY way, I need to do it myself. Otherwise, I need to be more appreciative of the help I receive.

At the beginning stage of wedding planning, I was set on having a small wedding with only our family there. Part of me wishes I would have stuck to that instead of inviting so many "friends." I wish I hadn't gotten so upset after the wedding when I realized a lot of these "friends" didn't show up. But really, WHO CARES? My wedding was amazing without them and obviously I didn't need them there. I just wish I never even mailed them an invite in the first place; the majority of my past/present "friends" weren't even worth the 44 cents.

A wedding certainly proves who your friends are, though, I tell ya what. I am grateful for all the friends and family who cared enough to share our day with us (and for those people who tried to come but got lost/were confused by the other wedding taking place.) However, for my "friends" who couldn't find the time in their busy lives to come to my special day, obviously they were never true friends in the first place. I'll remember that whenever their days come and my life is too busy/I have better things to do than go to their weddings. :) 

Part of me wants to just write off all of those friends and forget about them completely because I'm still pretty upset about it.. I'm SO sick of flaky and fake people. I have a lot of growing up to do and I'm aware that part of growing is getting rid of these useless people in my life. I have married an incredible man and I have an amazing family. That's all I need. Screw friends; clearly I've never really had much of any true friends like I thought I did. Silly me.

Moral of the story/my advice to any future brides: run away to Vegas or a beach and save yourself the trouble and stress!

Little blue pills

This week, I was finally able to go see a doctor (SO grateful to have insurance again) and get these little blue pills (that I can't seem to get out of the packaging for the life of me):

The doc told me there is still a 2% chance of getting pregnant and it takes about 2 weeks of taking birth control for it to actually be effective. My worry? We are getting married in exactly 1 week (YAY YAY soo excited) and today is only my 4th day taking them. To boot, I keep hearing all these stories of people who got pregnant while on birth control. Even my mom got pregnant with Brandi while on birth control, then found out she was pregnant with me when she was going in to get her tubes tied. Ha!

Therefore, this means 2 in 100 women will get pregnant on birth control; that terrifies me. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely ADORE children and I feel as though I have a niche for them and believe I'd be an incredible mom, but I am 22 years old. Despite being surrounded by a culture obsessed with starting a family at a young age, I feel as though I am far too young for children. I want to wait until we are financially ready to have a child and, call me selfish, but I want to enjoy the "honeymoon phase" together and have fun by ourselves while we're newlyweds! (Plus, I can live without gaining 40 pounds for awhile.)

I truly don't understand how so many people these days can sleep around and have meaningless sex with random people; doesn't the thought of having a child that they can't provide for scare them? Or even if they are in a relationship... Heck, I'll be a married adult with a college education, yet I feel like I'm nowhere near ready to be a parent. To each their own, I guess, but I still feel bad for all the babies being brought into the world without stability.  

Needless to say, if I end up pregnant on our honeymoon as a result of my first time having sex (that's just my kinda luck,) then I guess it's meant to be. But let's hope and pray that Levi's boys don't swim for at least 3 years and getting prego while on birth control doesn't run in the fam!

(I'm willing to put money down now to bet my first pregnancy will be twin, red-headed boys. That's karma for ya.)